On purpose

Do you ever feel like your life is a series of “do to” lists that never ends? One list after another. You get a small sense of accomplishment as you scratch off each item from your list, but then another one pops up and you just keep working at scratching them off, one at a time. Exhausted at the end of the day. And you start out with the right attitude the next day, ready to scratch off a few more items… And the list gets longer. By now you can’t even see the end. Yet you just keep scratching them off, one at a time.
Busy, busy, busy, as though business was a badge of honor you wear proudly–it makes you feel important, serious, adult. So busy taking the kids to their activities every night that after dinner, baths and homework, you collapse, exhausted, with no time left for bedtime stories. So busy keeping up with your neighbors that intimacy with your mate goes by the way side. You forgot he had an important appointment today; or you haven’t made his favorite meal in months. So busy that dinner consists of a sandwich in the car? Well, yes, but you know, I am on so many committees, and they really need me…
I made a break with “fluff” the day I committed to live on purpose. I choose to live on purpose each day. This choice of mine may sound easy, but it took me years to get to it, and cost me a lot of courage. For me, to live on purpose means that some business has to go. Sorry if I am stepping on a few toes–mine have a lot of practice being stepped on! I know, I know–not all committees are fluff, most of them probably aren’t. Yet as far as I am concerned, I ask this question of myself every time I wonder whether to commit to something: “does this fulfill my life’s purpose?” Ouch…another uncomfortable concept– my life’s purpose? What is that? How am I supposed to know what it is?
I can’t live on purpose without a purpose. Told you this takes a lot of courage… I went to my Lord many times concerning this issue, and He told me to look at my interests, what delights me, what makes my heart sing. Where am I most happy, most fulfilled, most fruitful? Little by little, my purpose emerged and it is becoming clearer to me with every passing day. It directs my choices, and causes me to live on purpose. So I am learning to say NO to much, and YES to much. I have rearranged most of my schedule, given my finances a different value, made some very difficult choices. But I am sticking to it. I love the sense of having been in the will of God at the end of the day, knowing that I fulfilled my course for the day.
My “to do” list is very different than it used to be. It includes things like baking my hubby his favorite dessert, or sending an email to someone, or sitting with His word for a while. I have very little to show for my new lifestyle: I make a lot less money than I used to, I am not as popular as I used to be… But I live on purpose. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.


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