Nitty Gritty Love

“‘Love does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered.’ That is what God says in 1 Corinthians 13,” my husband reminded me late one night when I was ranting about a wrong suffered.
“But you don’t understand,” I defended my point. “It is so personal. Like a slap in the face. It hurts so deeply. They betrayed me, and I am angry.”
“I know it hurts, you indeed were wronged,” he answered gently.
He let me rave a little more. My anger startled me—was I that affected still? I guess I didn’t know the depth of my resentment. A headache began to build right behind my eyes.
“But your anger is destroying you and doesn’t accomplish a thing.” My husband is always kind as he speaks truth to me—straight to the point, but he knows how to wrap his words in soft blankets so the blows don’t shatter my heart in a million pieces.
“I am angry. I don’t know how to not be. They betrayed me! They wronged me! I am mad, mad, mad at them.” The headache was full blown by now.
He wisely let my words fill the room without responding to them. I was justified in my anger, yet the ugly words filling the silence felt so heavy, so wrong—like the smell of rotten eggs permeating the atmosphere. They turned my stomach. My head felt ready to explode. And then I saw it: I had a very, very sick heart. Tears held way too long deep within surfaced, and the river began to flow.
“I have to forgive, don’t I?” He remained silent. “I just don’t know how to let go.”
“That why the chapter is about perfect love. It’s about Him. Him at work in us. It doesn’t come from us. We can’t do it; we never will.”
Jesus in me can forgive.
Jesus in me can let go.
I knew what I had to do.
I laid my head on my pillow that night and closed my eyes, committing my spirit to the Lord. In the morning, I got dressed, put my shoes on and went to my special meeting place with God. He was waiting for me.
“I never act unbecomingly; I do not seek My own, I am not provoked. I do not take into account a wrong suffered,” He whispered to me. “Will you let go and let Me fill you with Me?”
No condemnation, just His hand strongly leading me to a better place. He knows how to take me into His victory. I surrendered, and He led me into times of refreshments. The headache is gone, the tears have dried up, and my heart is restored.

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