Thirty-two Years of Quilting

After almost 32 years of marriage, I don’t even know how to not be married anymore.  I basically make all of my decisions in view of my husband; it’s not that I must, it’s just that I choose to.

Thirty-two years–feels like just a breath, and like forever all at once.  We are weaving an eclectic quilt, using many different strands.  Some weak and frail, others bold and thick. The fabric is made strong and complex, simple and so fragile.

I remember not liking his taste in furniture when we set up our first home together.  But the weaving had already begun. Thirty-two years later, we have somehow blended our tastes.  He can go buy anything for our house on his own now, and we will both love it.

The weaving is still in the making.  We are a growing entity. He gives me wings to pursue my dreams, and I give him the confidence needed to be who he is called to be.  We give each other room to add new colors and textures to the quilt.

And it gets stronger by the day.

And it gets more delicate by the day.

I finger it gently, a feast for my senses.  I hug it close to my heart, a comfort to my soul.  It is woven with covenant threads, and tears, and sacrifice, and laughter and self-denial.  I respect it with my life.

Thirty-two years of stitching, and callused fingers to show it.  And if God permits, we will bring it to fruition, and leave it as a legacy for those who were birthed on it, and those who joined the dance later on, and those yet to be born.  And though it might fade a bit, the weaving will remain strong, because it stood the test of life.

May it become an anchor to the souls of those who inherit it.

Linking up with Tell Me a Story, Titus2TuesdayFaith Filled Friday, Still Saturday, Titus2sdayGratituesdayHear it on Sunday, Marital Oneness, Better Mom Monday and Jumping Tandem

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77 comments

  1. What beautiful thoughts. Thank you for sharing them with us. Blessings to you as you continue adding pieces to your quilt. I know it will get more beautiful by the day.
    Charlotte

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  2. awww…was just talking to friends about marriage today. A best friend is celebrating 10 years (we welcomed her to the double digit club), and I spoke with a single friend–beaming that this spring will mark 19 years for my dear husband and I. A good Christian marriage is a blessing, not only for the couple, but for the community that supports and benefits from it. What a lovely celebration in words-I’m so glad I wandered here from the Faith Filled Friday Blog Hop. Thank you for sharing your beautiful quilt.
    Peace and good to you.

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  3. This is so precious and so beautiful. I am going to try to share it on my FB book. The allegory is simply amazing between a quilt and your marriage. I love the “strong and fragil”. 18 years ago today my hubby told me he would sign and speak to me every day of our lives if I would honor him as his wife. You see, 6 year before meeting him, I lost my hearing totally at 39. I was later divorced. The day my divorce was final, I held my Bible for hours, too stunned to even pray. Finally, I simply prayed for a “hearing man who knew how to sign” (American sign language using English format) and went on with my life. We found each other in a deaf/hearing church group. He knew signing and became my friend and one day I knew I had fallen deeply in love for the first time, so I prayed a “fleece” prayer to see if this could the Lord’s leading…….it was.
    We are going to watch the sunset tonight on the beach to celebrate each other. I will share your post about the “quilt” with him as we watch the sun set. You see, 6 years into our marriage, I was implanted with the Cochlear Implant and heard my hubby’s voice for first time after 7 years of knowing him (1 yr dating, 6 married) Blessings and I am coming back to your blog. Love it!

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  4. What an inspiring story of your married life. And it made me think of my own. Having been married to a foreigner is quite challenging both for him and me, but love covers all. We had been married for almost 22 years and still very much in love with each other. He is God’s gift to me. Thanks for sharing.

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  5. Thank you so much for visiting my blog and sharing yours. I love this post. I love the analogy of the quilt to your marriage. I have only been married for 12 years so this encouraged me that I can get there…and that is so I look forward to that…What a beautiful tribute to your marriage.

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  6. This is so beautiful and encouraging!! Sometimes my friends (especially single) make me feel guilty for wanting to make decisions in view of my husband and do not understand the ‘quilt’ being woven. Your post is helping me to treasure my beautiful marriage regardless of their comments. Thank you!

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  7. It’s been 40 years now, and the piecing continues. What a perfect analogy.

    That a marriage “is woven with covenant threads, and tears, and sacrifice, and laughter and self-denial”–I love this.

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  8. I love this ‘blending idea’. We have been married for 38 years and yes it has not always been easy and our differences are often a source of conflict but we agree to ‘disagree’ and still make it work. (kind of like his furniture is not your style) in the big picture ‘as my widowed friend reminds me’ He is breathing and he comes home from work and he is a friend to you and his love will always be there. What more could we ask for?

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  9. We’re babies. Just 25 years. 🙂 But I can affirm your words here, and I’m grateful to you and others who press on ahead of us. Bless you.

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  10. My husband and I have only been married for 15 years. But when we reflect on those years it does feel so wonderful to have grown up together.
    How beautiful.
    Have a blessed week!

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  11. “He gives me wings to pursue my dreams, and I give him the confidence needed to be who he is called to be. We give each other room to add new colors and textures to the quilt.” This truly is a description of my marriage. We both have unusual spiritual “God-jobs” and even though some people think he should say “no” or I should try to have him reevaluate what he’s choosing to do, we never go that direction. For us, God is first. If HE calls one of us to do something, the other most certainly can’t stand against it. And our love permeates anything and everything that is on the path.

    Good description and “story” connection.

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  12. This is marvelous, Barbara! I am very early in my marriage-weaving journey… About 1.5 years in, but everyday is a new adventure (especially when the army seems to add about 10 years to our growth!) Such beautiful, encouraging words about marriage. I am so thankful to be married to a wonderful man– be even more excited for our incredible Bridegroom Jesus. He chose us! 🙂

    Blessings to you!

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  13. What a source of warmth and love your quilt has become! I love hearing about marriages that have become deeper and stronger over time. Thank you so much for sharing your story!

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  14. Your quilt sounds lovely! =) My husband and I have been working on our quilt for 31 years and have found that each day and each stitch that goes into it makes it all the more beautiful! Blessings!

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  15. This was beautiful! I come from a quilting family (I am the only one who doesn’t, my Mom is disappointed in me…) and know the value of these important pieces of history. I love the way you wove together the beauty of marriage and the beauty of quilts!!!! This was a blessing!
    And thanks for linking up!!!

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  16. This is so incredibly beautiful. He is weaving you together as one entity. If we all took the time to see our marriage unions as this! Thank you for sharing your heart on this. Thank you also for being such a faithful contributor to Painting Prose. I hope to see you over at Emily’s at Imperfect Prose.

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  17. I can relate to this post. I’ve been married 36 years and we are one! Our tastes and thoughts have melted into one and I can’t separate the me from him. I believe this is the way God planned it.

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  18. Hi Barbara – great analogy. This year its 24 yrs for us. And quite an interesting quilt we have been weaving. So grateful though for the thread that the Lord provides. thanks for linking up. Look forward to seeing you there next week 🙂
    God bless
    Tracy

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  19. My Grandmother made hand made quilts with her tiny stitches. I inherited one of her quilts and it is a treasure. I really enjoyed how your taste in furniture was able to change to please your husband. Our marriage will celebrate 63 years Dec 1, and I can’t honestly say that I have willingly conformed at all times. Robert does have good taste in decorating, so all is well. Thank you for sharing at Tell Me a Story.

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  20. What a beautiful post! My hubby often uses this very analogy when talking about marriage and life in general. Thank you for sharing this at Matrimonial Monday this week, I will be featuring you next week at the linkup. Please take a moment and link this post back, if you would be so kind. 🙂

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  21. Beautiful – you explain it perfectly – ” like just a breath, and like forever all at once” – that’s how I feel after 29+. Happy Anniversary – what a heritage you are piecing together for your children’s children!

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  22. Beautiful! My husband and I have been married for almost 7 years and reading these words inspires me in so many ways. Yes, we’ve hit some rough patches but when I think of the vows we took to spend a LIFETIME together – 7 years is but a drop in the bucket. Thank you for that reminder and that “this too shall pass” as we continue to weave, grow and mesh with one another
    ~TALU~
    Michelle

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