Maybe it’s the culture I live in, or my greed, or human nature, but I seem to always want More. Another bite of dessert, and just a bit more money, and if I could only sleep a few more minutes, and have another Saturday every week. Just a smidgen more, you know…
More house, more understanding, fancier car, more friends, more food, more hugs, more shoes, more beauty, nicer furniture, more wisdom, better dishes, more time, expensive artwork.
More. Just a smidgen more. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there? No, of course not.
Until one day, I begin to see it, like in a fog. I can’t quite wrap my head around it, but I know. And it turns me inside out and makes me feel sick to my stomach. I keep digging, and thinking, and looking and staring at all the More that I want, that I say I am entitled to until I finally get it–and I see, clear as day. And I fall on my face, horrified by the revelation.
My yearning for More is a twisted gospel that I swallowed and defended, and preached, and grew. My yearning for More is stealing my life.
While I seek for more Saturdays in my seven day week, I gloss over the Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I miss out on the thrill of the job well done, the fruit of my labor, the pride in my days. While I want more ice cream, I forget to really taste the one in front of me, filled with creamy deliciousness. While I pursue more money, I neglect to see the provision in my hand and my heart and my home and my mind. While I long for more sleep, I forget to be thankful for what has already been given.
While I look for my More, I slap God in the face. You did not give me enough.
While I look for my More, I deny true contentment.
While I look for my More, I let life slip away.
I pick myself off the floor, turn away from the More that I thought I so needed and pick up my Enough. Beautiful, and so rich, and so full of the moment.
Enough grace for my day, enough hours for my life, enough love for my calling, enough strength for the journey. What I have is enough.
My Now is enough.
Counting One Thousand Gifts with Ann Voskamp
#14 My everyday Life
#13 The Moment I am in
#12 Understanding that More is not always More
#11 Seeing that I have enough