Doing Dishes

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He loves me.

“I love doing dishes,” he says. “It’s kind of therapeutic.”  He scrubs the old pan that he used to cook the eggs, rinses it and puts it on the dish rack to let it air dry.

We are in a little cabin for the week-end in the middle of the woods and my husband is telling me that he loves doing the dishes. I don’t know how to respond.

“I love to keep ahead of the mess,“ he continues as he wipes the little breakfast table. “It just feels good.” Everything is put away down to the salt and pepper. “It just feels good,” he says again, looking around, satisfied.

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I never knew. Married almost thirty-three years to this man, and I never knew he likes doing dishes.

Three kids grew in my womb, then filled our home with adventures. I took care of the worst diapers and he always dealt with vomit because I could not stomach it. We both spoke the Word to them and over them, we lived the simple everyday life of those cared for by a heavenly Father, believing that He would turn their lives into unique masterpieces.  And He did.

We laughed, cried, tickled, disciplined and had very intense discussions. We listened and we refused to listen. We went to basketball games, stayed awake waiting for the sound of the garage door opening up, prayed lots and lots, cooked together, walked, played, went over budgets and took pictures.

They grew up, left our homes to make homes of their own with the scent of Jesus all over them, these three kids turned productive adults who grew in my womb and grew up in our home. They are indeed unique masterpieces.

So my man and I, we just keep on in our adventure with God.

Going on thirty-three years of investing in each other, putting out the garbage, going on vacation, getting up to go to work, having Saturday morning coffee together. We kind of look alike by now–or so we are told.

We jumped into this marriage with all that we are—no holding back. We both learned to give in a lot. We both learned to give up a lot. Trust has matured and we’ve learned to be transparent; it’s safe, because of this covenant love we have. I will always love him, no matter what. And he has vowed to always love me, come what may. And every day, I see this promise displayed in his life. I see more of Jesus in him then when we first got married. I love him more than ever.

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And there isn’t too much I don’t know about him at this point. And there isn’t too much he doesn’t know about me.

Thirty-three years of married, intimate covenant love. And today, I find out he likes doing dishes. Go figure.

Cultivating Thankfulness with Ann Voskamp

one thousand#503 Time away with my husband

#504 The Beauty of winter

Sometimes, I link up with any or all of these wonderful writers: Hearts 4 HomeSDG,  Hearts Reflected, WLW, EOA, Things I can’t say, Growing HomePlay Dates with GodMonday Musings, Hear it on SundayInspire Me Monday, Tell me a Story, The Better Mom, a Mama’s StoryInto the WordIn and Around Mondays,OYHT, Gratituesday, Titus2Tuesdays, ExtraordinayLessons from IvyDenise in BloomSweet BlessingsFaith Filled Friday, Finding JoyWholeHearted Home



  1. Had to chuckle. My husband, while having a little time at home before heading back to church, and cooking his lunch, did the dishes. I planned to do them a bit later. While he was cooking, he did them. He’s a GREAT cook, and a CLEAN cook, and he LIKES to do dishes. When we were having parties or the house filled with people, he would slip into the kitchen and do the dishes. In that case it was to avoid all the rowdiness. Quieter in the kitchen… and not many would pop in, b/c they were trying to avoid working. It’s a blessing to have husbands like that, believe me. Had the opposite before.


  2. Isn’t that funny? My husband and I have been married 39 years and I still learn new things occasionally if I listen closely. I also LOVE to do dishes, it is warm and as he said ‘therapeutic’ I wash them before putting them in the dishwasher.


  3. Wonderful story! My husband and I have also been married 33 years, and he likes doing dishes for an entirely different reason. The hot water makes his arthritic hands feel good, and he rinses the dishes and puts them in the dishwasher after almost every meal. Like you, I married a gem.


  4. Love a man that loves doing the dishes! Good man you have there :0) My husband likes to clean and do laundry and dishes, and I am more than happy to let him 🙂 Congrats on 30yrs of marriage that is a rarity in deed!


  5. I laughed about being in the cabin and him wanting to do dishes. Then I smiled wide as I thought about you guys raising your family together, hearing the list of everydayness. There is great comfort in the familiar, don’t you think? But also good to continue discovering.

    Great writing, Barbara! And thanks for linking up in the True Vine Challenge today. 🙂


  6. Barbara (‘neighbor’ at True Vine Challenge) this SO made me smile. Bill and I celebrate 40 years this July and it has been all you mentioned and more (some BIG rocks in the way….had to jackhammer a few–mostly mine.)
    Your last line made me so smile. I’ve been writing most of our married life and last night I mentioned the term writer’s block (talking about our friend Cheryl and her book project.) “Writer’s BLOCK?” he said, accent on the ‘block’–as if he’d never heard the term. And I’ve been writing all of our married lives. Go figure–guess I wasn’t using my writerly lingo enough. 🙂


  7. Loved this! I will be married 34 years in May. It is so exciting when you discover something new about your husband that was always there but you never knew. This was such a sweet post. Thank you for sharing it! I visited from the Tell His Story blog hop & am so glad that I did!


  8. This is such a sweet post… a story of love and commitment that is a true treasure in today’s society. Thank you for staying the course. Congratulations to you and your man… He’s a keeper if he likes to do dishes… 🙂


  9. Hello…I’m here from Friendship Friday linking and I just wanted to introduce myself, and found out that I really, really enjoyed this post. I’m glad your husband is actually ‘man enough to admit he enjoys doing the dishes’!! My husband, of 45 years this May, is the dishwasher in our house too!!

    I really enjoyed reading about your 34 year revelation…it’s good to have a relationship that isn’t ever stagnant and you continue to learn about each other in your daily lives. MHO


  10. […] But he promised to love her, and she is his princess. So he loves her. With every ounce of energy within him, he gives her dignity. And care. He brushes her hair with delight. He brushes her teeth. He feeds her.He takes her to get her hair done each Friday. He builds her a special bicycle, and she sits in the front and he pedals in back. And they ride through their town, enjoying the days. Living life. […]


  11. I’m so glad you linked this up for Three Word Wednesday, Barbara. Beautiful!! I loved when you wrote, “So my man and I, we just keep on in our adventure with God.” It just gave me some goosebumps. I’ve been married to my husband for 23 years and it wasn’t until recently that I discovered he has a big fear of spiders. 🙂 Again, thanks for coming by and sharing. Many blessings to you.


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