Feeling Sorry

This feeling sorry for myself, it has to stop.

I have wasted too much time thinking about what I wish I was or had. I have wasted too many hours contemplating me, myself and I. And I have spent too little time involved in the lives of those who need to be touched with kindness, smiled at with love, melted with tenderness freely given.

This feeling sorry for myself, it has to stop.

Birthed in too much looking with the eyes of my flesh at what I want, what I don’t have, what I could have, what others are and look like, grown with too much looking out for myself and not enough looking through the lens of His Word that tells me that all is well with my soul and I lack nothing and I am wonderfully becoming and I ought to rest.This feeling sorry for myself, it is fed with not enough looking around for those who need that which I have, that which God has entrusted to me, that which my heart delights in sharing.

This feeling sorry for myself, it has to stop.

Ithas grown with idle hands and feet and a soul that does not see clearly. It emerged from a heart that hasn’t been carefully looked after, watched over, screened for ticks, and bites, and stains that come from having my feet in the mud of this world where everything screams of self-preservation and fulfillment.

This feeling sorry for myself, it is poison to my tender heart.

And it never matters whether there is one drop or fifty thousand drops, the poison does its job of eating away at all that is pure, delightful and holy about what God created in me.

This feeling sorry for myself, it is crucified only as I look intently at the One who gave up the right to be right, the right to have all that He deserved. The One who gladly, willingly, abundantly gave it all up for the sake of gaining me.

This feeling sorry for myself, it becomes ridiculous, laughable indeed, as I behold His joy in letting go all that He had, all that He could have, all that He enjoyed in order to gain me.

This feeling sorry for myself, it loses its power in the sight of His love.

And this is the way of heaven: not my trying, but my being reduced to a holy humble victorious silence as I behold His love.

Cultivating Thankfulness with Ann Voskamp

one thousand#548 The joy of knowing I am in God’s will

#549 My new chickpea bread recipe

Sometimes, I link up with any or all of these wonderful writers: Hearts 4 HomeSDG,  Hearts Reflected, WLW, EOA, Things I can’t say, Growing HomePlay Dates with GodMonday Musings, Hear it on SundayInspire Me Monday, Tell me a Story, The Better Mom, a Mama’s StoryInto the WordIn and Around Mondays,OYHT, Gratituesday, Titus2Tuesdays, ExtraordinayLessons from IvyDenise in BloomSweet BlessingsFaith Filled Friday, Finding JoyWholeHearted Home, Mom’s the Word,

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23 comments

  1. you are so right on! this voice telling me “you messed up AGAIN has to be silenced! we are human and will “mess up” but that is no reason to start the sorry feelings!
    good post! thank you Barbara! 🙂

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  2. I’ve found this same thing, Barbara. When I have my pity parties, it’s usually because I have taken my eyes off of Jesus. A little too much “me”, as you say. Very convicting post.

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  3. Dear Barbara
    Oh, that poor soul with his head in the post box!!! Yes, my friend, why waste the time we can enjoy living in our Lord Jesus by being sorry for ourselves. It is a bottomless pit draining all our love, joy and peace.
    A blessed Easter to you

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  4. “it is well with my soul”. yes. that is where i try to keep my focus in order to keep looking outward. but, oh, how difficult when the eyes constantly want to drift back inward!
    what a great focus for this week. thanks for sharing!
    steph

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  5. Thank you for sharing at “Tell Me a Story.” It is true that our tears are often about “me” and our focus should be on others. I am glad that we can shed tears of joy when we think of Jesus and all He has done for us. Beautifully written post!

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  6. Ah, Barbara, nice to be around again. There is so much truth in this friend, and this is what hit me full in face: “Ithas grown with idle hands and feet and a soul that does not see clearly. It emerged from a heart that hasn’t been carefully looked after, watched over…stains that come from having my feet in the mud of this world where everything screams of self-preservation and fulfillment.” Thank you. Came by from Just Write.

    {I’d like to invite you to #concretewords. We’re just getting started, and you can link up all week!}
    http://sixinthehickorysticks.blogspot.com/2013/03/a-stirring-abstraction-on-spirit.html

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  7. Barbara, it’s nice to be around again. This: “Ithas grown with idle hands and feet and a soul that does not see clearly. It emerged from a heart that hasn’t been carefully looked after, watched over,….and stains that come from having my feet in the mud of this world where everything screams of self-preservation and fulfillment.” Thank you for these words of wisdom, friend. I came by from Just Write.

    {I’d like to invite you to #concretewords. We’re just getting started, and you can link up all week!}
    http://sixinthehickorysticks.blogspot.com/2013/03/a-stirring-abstraction-on-spirit.html

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  8. When we are focused inward we have taken our eyes off God and all His blessings! Great reminder that life is not about me! 🙂

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  9. I too often get caught up in “pity parties” myself. I wrote a couple posts on that topic as I was struggling through this myself. Well, still struggle through at times. Definitely agree that only looking to Jesus will free us from it!
    ahumblebumble.blogspot.com

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  10. This was so well written, and you’re right there’s no reason to look for or want because we’ve already been given the King as our father. With that good news, everything else falls into place and we appreciate what he has made and done in our lives. 🙂

    Happy Easter to you!

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  11. We must be kindred spirits or something. have been thinking of this too much lately and just had a wake up call. Working on myself with his abundant grace 🙂

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  12. […] I curl up on my chair and I do my best to set my mind. It could be a great day if I let Him rule me. If I turn away from my feelings, from my achy, tired body, from my exhausted, worn out mind, from my strong unhappy feelings. It really could be a great day. But I don’t want to work at it. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to put on my big girl panties. I don’t want to put on my robe of righteousness and act like who I am. I just want to pout. […]

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