Dear Friend to Whom I won’t Lie

Sweet Friend,

Life can be hard at times, and I hate that it knocked you down and took your breath away today. Your pain cuts deep within my soul, and my heart can’t pretend I can wipe it all away with a smile and a hug.

There are no quick one-size-fit-all answers….

And as I sit here with you, I think of this friend of mine who has it all: the husband, the money, the kids, the perfect job she always wanted, and yet she is so desperately sad and empty that she can’t have a conversation without breaking into tears… And I think of another friend whose husband has epilepsy, whose father and brother are both dying of cancer and she herself is too sick to hold a job, and she asked me last week, “What else can I endure?”

And my heart is breaking.

And I have no answers. None that pleases the flesh at least.

Because at the end of the road, I know deep in my gut that even if we were to get  what we think we want-need-yearn-for, the emptiness would not go away. Because this life’s joys are so fleeting.

Because at the end of the road, life is really all about our insatiable thirst for intimacy, and the down-here life we live doesn’t offer the depth of what we truly yearn for. Even for those of us who are married and have a good marriage.

This craving for deep, deep intimacy, it won’t be fulfilled until heaven. Because down here, it’s just the shell. It’s just the waiting, the getting ready, the womb.

And if God chooses to add the husband, and the kids, and the job, great. And if God doesn’ t give what we think we need-deserve-must-have-to-survive, He is still God, and we are not.

We must and will remain sold out to Him because that is who we are. Because that is what He deserve.

And as I write these words, I am thinking of those who died in prison for their faith, and they never experienced relief in this life. And I am thinking of my dear friend who is 53 and just now found her soul mate and is planning a wedding but has to have a mastectomy tomorrow.

It’s a desert out there.

And I still believe that we must and will remain sold out to Him. Because that is who He made us to be. Because He is God.

To find our purpose in His pleasure is the only thing that makes sense. This is such a difficult revelation, but also so liberating, isn’t it?

Raw, but rich.

And we find no true joy apart from Him.

Not the gifts, but The Giver.

And He is enough.

Cultivating Thankfulness with Ann Voskamp

one thousand#696 My changed heart

#697 My garden doing wel

l#698  The privilege of being loved by God’s people

Sometimes, I link up with any or all of these wonderful writers: Hearts 4 HomeSDG,  Hearts Reflected, WLW, EOA, Things I can’t say, Growing HomePlay Dates with GodMonday Musings, Hear it on SundayInspire Me Monday, Tell me a Story, The Better Mom, a Mama’s StoryInto the WordIn and Around Mondays,OYHT, Gratituesday, Titus2Tuesdays, ExtraordinayLessons from IvyDenise in BloomSweet BlessingsFaith Filled Friday, Finding JoyWholeHearted Home, Mom’s the Word,



  1. There’s always that empty feeling in the middle of your gut that no amount of anything can fill. I couldn’t name it before. Your message says it beautifully. It will never be filled here . It’s a longing for God and fulfillment waits for us in heaven.


  2. I like that line; no answer that pleases the flesh. Lots of times when I talk with folks I have things to say but they aren’t comforting or easy things. Thanks.


  3. Hi,
    I’m visiting from Discovering Jubilee to thank you for linking up to Faithful Fridays. That was a really sweet post. Your loved ones are blessed to have you with your gift of mercy to remember them before God. And we have hope…Jesus is restoring all things…all these trials, disappointments, inequities….they are being and will be transformed into joy.


  4. This is so true, Barbara! I wish some people I know would read and truly understand the words you wrote! Why is it so easy for some people to think that everyone else has it better and that their life is fuller than theirs is because of what they own, who they are married to, or the job they have? Only God can fill that void in each of our lives, no matter what the situation/circumstances!!
    In His Love, Ann @ Christ in the Clouds


  5. Yes, it is a desert out there! So thankful that this is not our home. 🙂 I love the idea in finding joy not in the gifts, but in the Giver. I’m visiting from the Better Mom link-up.


  6. This is so beautiful!

    “Because at the end of the road, life is really all about our insatiable thirst for intimacy, and the down-here life we live life doesn’t offer the depth of what we truly yearn for. Even for those of us who are married and have a good marriage.”

    A resounding AMEN!!! 🙂


  7. “Because He is God…He is enough” Beautifully stated. We sing, “Our God is enough, He’s proved it o’er and o’er.” Sometimes it’s easier for me to suffer than to watch those I love go through trials and griefs. “Because He is God” is a phrase that will ring in my ears today.


  8. “And I still believe that we must and will remain sold out to Him. Because that is who He made us to be. Because He is God.” Amen. As the disciples said, “Where else could we go?”


  9. Barbara this post touched me deeply – there is so much hurt and emptiness out there.
    Each of us struggles in some way, but as we see our friends and their pain, we wonder if perhaps we have it so much better than they. God by his sweet presence fills the vacuum in our hearts. Thank you for sharing at “Tell me a Story.”


  10. I came over here from Hazel’s “Tell Me a True Story.” Oh, how glad I am that I did. This was such an honest and vulnerable post. Touching on the reality of living on this fallen planet – the *angst* we experience this side of eternity.

    And yet, what hope and encouragement you have provided as you focused on the Lord!

    As you said, “Not the gifts, but The Giver.”

    For the past two years, He has been asking me, “Is it really just Me?” And yes, I am discovering more and more that He is more than enough…



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