I never knew

Day by day He fills my life with good things. With great things. With wonderful things. With difficult things. With the awareness of Him with me.

But I never knew the thought of a grandchild would feel this way…

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There is an indescribable awe growing in me at the thought of the child of my child, a new generation on this earth as a result of my marriage.

And the sweet parents of this little ones, they chose to not find out the gender of the baby until we could all find out together, two generations welcoming the third one with joy.

We went to dinner, scoped the place out and decide to ask whomever would sit at the table to our left next to open up the well-taped index card that held the few words revealing the secret. They played along.

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We giggled. My heart soared. It was a she. She is a she.

We will play in the fields, she and I, and we’ll run and pick flowers and look at bugs and butterflies. We are going to make cookies, she and I, the kind my husband’s mother made for him when he was a little boy, and he will tell her about her, and we will read The Little Prince together, my own father’s favorite book of all times, and I will tell her of him, and together we will jump on the stones of time scattered over the river of life, one at a time, and we will live. Really live.

As we walked out of the restaurant into the busy street, the secret giggle in my soul grew even wider, and richer, and fuller, and louder. And people were everywhere, talking and laughing and walking all over the sidewalk, and it smelled like wine and summer and sweat and the week-end, but I was only aware of the joy that was taking me over.

And I never knew that joy could take one over like that, and dance with one’s soul like tomorrow is a rainbow, and a tree house and Christmas all at once.

That night, we looked at the sonogram of our little one at least a hundred times, and I saw her bounce all around to the music of her momma’s heart beat, and her little tongue stick out and her tiny fingers reach for her momma’s womb and she just made me smile. And my husband, he just watched. And he smiled.

Her momma took my hand and placed it on her belly and I sensed our little girl flutter through the skin. And awe took over my heart.

And I never knew that awe could take one over like that, and take over one’s soul like tomorrow is a walk in the woods, and a piece of cheesecake and warm socks all at once.

I grew three children inside of my very own body. I know about the flutters of life that turn into kicks. I birthed them and even fed them milk from my very own body.

But I never knew about the deep joy of a coming grandchild.  This sense of my very own life flowing through my child to the next generation. This awe of time that goes and goes and goes and repeats itself but it’s always brand new because life begins again.

And the words, they fail me.

And the joy, it overpowers me. And I fall to my knees and I thank God in heaven, the Father of all generations, the One who sees His own reflection in the children He birthed, in the children He loves.

And my Father, He smiles. Because He set it up just right.

Cultivating Thankfulness with Ann Voskamp

one-thousand7#772  Homemade manicotti with my sister-in-law

#773 Reading a book in French

#774 A new walk in the woods

Sometimes, I link up with any or all of these wonderful writers: Hearts 4 HomeSDG, Hearts Reflected, WLW, EOA, Things I can’t say, Growing HomePlay Dates with GodMonday Musings, Hear it on Sunday,Inspire Me Monday, Tell me a Story, The Better Mom, a Mama’s StoryInto the WordIn and Around Mondays,OYHT, Gratituesday,Titus2Tuesdays, ExtraordinayLessons from IvyDenise in BloomSweet BlessingsFaith Filled Friday, Finding JoyWholeHearted Home, Mom’s the Word,

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39 comments

  1. This is such an uplifting and fun post. What a great way to find out the gender of a yet-to-arrive baby. I smiled as I read your thoughts and feelings. As the mother of 2 boys, one who has passed, and the grandmother of one little blonde, blue-eyed girl–I so deeply understand your joy at the thought of being a grandmother.

    Congratulations and I so look forward to hearing the stories of baked cookies, bug and butterfly explorations and story time as she lays her head on your shoulder. All of us grandmothers are welcoming you to this very blessed club!

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  2. Your daughter in law is a special woman to so fully engage you in the upcoming events. You are blessed. And welcome to a ride like not other!

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  3. What is it about grandchildren? Maybe it’s some kind of recognition that we did enough right that our kids want to do for someone else what we did for them. Or, maybe not, but it sure is nice to know those new little ones here, nearer the end of our lives. Hope for the future.

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  4. Oh, how exciting! Our oldest got married last December, no grandbabies on the way yet (but our own #8 is due in January)… I intend to glory in it the way you obviously are. My own mother has met every blessing with anger and disapproval… when my grandbabies come I want them to know how much they are loved and cherished!

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  5. I just had to smile as I watched you explore the amazing world of grandparents. Congratulations! This was such a wonderful post–I can’t wait to see what you write after the first time you hold this wee one in your arms.

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  6. Oh, yes! The joy of a grandchild is like no other joy you will ever imagine. My first arrived just three years ago and I felt this indescribable “thing” take over my heart and mind from the moment I knew he was on the way. And the day he was born was like no other day in my entire life. My perspectives and priorities were forever changed on October 20, 2010! Then baby #2 arrived this past June, a girl this time. And the fun began again. I could go on and on about it. But you won’t really know what it is like until that baby girl gets here. Congratulations…and enjoy every minute!

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  7. How exciting and thank you for sharing your excitement with us. Congrats to you and your family. I can’t wait for the day my son and his wife make me a grandma. I got goosebumps thinking about the day as I read your post. Beautiful!! Thank you for linking up for Three Word Wednesday.

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  8. I think it fitting I find this post today; I am struggling with the idea of being done with having babies and it has left me feeling quite sullen today. Reading this post gives me hope that one day my own babies will have babies and I can re-live this joy all over again!

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  9. Oh, this is beautiful. Congratulations! I have to echo An Ideal Mom’s comment: at the end of having my own, I’m genuinely looking forward to the prospect of becoming a grandmother. And I needed to read your joy today, let it envelop me, and make me hopeful rather than bitter (I am still bitter, but it’s being tamped down so I’ll call it a win).

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  10. My son is only 2 but I have dreamed and imagined about his entire life, including giving me my first grandchild. I can only imagine the joy that you feel during this time. And such a cute way to find out the sex of the baby! I know you and your family feel so blessed right now!

    Thanks so much for sharing on Turn It Up Tuesdays! We love having you! 🙂

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  11. Congratulations! I just found out my lil brother is having a girl and I’m very excited! 🙂

    Thank you for sharing this post over at Wisdom Wednesday. It was the most clicked post and will be shared on my Facebook page tomorrow!

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