Distracted

I find myself distracted these days–so  distracted that I fear I might fall apart; like I don’t hold together anymore, like the seams of my life are so loose that I might slip through them somehow. And I don’t know how to put myself together again.

And the distraction doesn’t wear the name of not enough time, or television, or facebook or even cell phone–those would be easy culprits. My distraction, it comes from a voice in my head. In my heart. And sometimes in the mirror. It strangely sounds like my own voice, using words I would use. It knows just how to dig the knife a bit deeper into the already bleeding wounds of my life.

This distraction, it causes me to look inward rather than upwards where all help comes from. And this distraction, it stirs in me all kinds of frustrations, angers, complaints, unanswered questions, restlessnesses and impulses to give up–which grow into distractions as well. And I feel like I can hardly breathe, and the seam is getting even looser, and I have no place to hold on, and I am getting ready to be scattered all over, and I am all alone…

And that’s how I know that it is a distraction.

Because that voice that sounds like mine, it pulls me away from the very One who is for me. The only One Who can hold me together. The only One Who calls Himself my Savior. The One Who always rescues me.

And that voice that sounds like mine, it just can’t be my own, because my voice, it knows its Shepherd.

This distraction, it must be the voice of the enemy of my soul. The one who is after my time, my confession, my life. The psalmist worded it so well when he said,

I am restless in my complaint and am surely distracted,

Because of the voice of the enemy. (Psalm 55)

So I get on my knees and I speak to my Dad. And He tells me to be still a while, and know that He is God.  And He tells me that His voice has conquered all other voices, and that I ought to use the voice that He gifted me with to silence all the lies.

So I do.

one-thousand7Cultivating Thankfulness with Ann Voskamp

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Sometimes, I link up with any or all of these wonderful writers: Hearts 4 HomeSDG, Hearts Reflected, WLW, EOA, Things I can’t say, Growing HomePlay Dates with GodMonday Musings, Hear it on Sunday,Inspire Me Monday, Tell me a Story, The Better Mom, a Mama’s StoryInto the WordIn and Around 

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6 comments

  1. I fully get that “distracted” mode. The devil is such a liar. In the looking inward, he attempts to destroy the link, that thread that ties us to the Father. He doesn’t realize how great our God is! As we lay our concerns, our distractions, before God, we come away made whole and ready, once again, for service.

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  2. Barbara, thank you for sharing your heart in this post. “Distraction” is a subject that God has been speaking to me about for about a month now after a very timely and convicting Sunday sermon. So, your post had my ears perked up. I love it when God repeats Himself to make sure that I “get it.” 🙂

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