It was such a small, insignificant thing. You know, the kind that would totally go unnoticed if it wasn’t for… yep, that kind of thing. I fed it, and it grew huge in my mind. Why it did, I don’t know. Well, yes I do–I chose to.
I saw this very principle play out many, many years ago when two of my kids got poison ivy. One of them ignored it and it just went away; the other got so involved with it that it grew and grew and she wound up in the ER. Yes, I had seen the lesson–what you look at grows. But I did not listen.
At the end of the day, I despised him. The small, insignificant thing had reached ridiculous proportions, and I allowed it to infuse my heart with unhealthy thoughts. I eventually snapped and said things I regretted right away. But they were out there, the words, and they had cut deep.
Because when I put weight on the wrong thing, holding on to what I should quickly let go, it leaves a disgusting taste in my heart. And eventually, it comes out of my mouth. And it is very, very vile.
My heart, it always comes out of my mouth, one way or another.
I purposefully hurt him, this man God gave me, the person I love most in life. The one who wouldn’t hesitate to suffer on my behalf.
My husband did not retaliate. His choice was to refuse to give weight to the attack. And mine was to refuse letting the small, insignificant thing be weightless.
He gave weight to what always matters. And I gave weight to what doesn’t.
After all was said and done, after forgiveness washed my heart and restored me to sanity, the lesson still stands, and I must accept it, swallow it, make it mine–what I look at grows. And what I stare at, that’s what I give weight to.
May I stare at the face of Jesus.
Wanna come on over to my new blog www.barbaraisaac.com to check it out?
Sometimes, I link up with any or all of these wonderful writers: Hearts 4 Home,SDG, Hearts Reflected, WLW, EOA, Things I can’t say, Growing Home, Play Dates with God, Monday Musings, Hear it on Sunday,Inspire Me Monday, Tell me a Story, The Better Mom, a Mama’s Story, Into the Word, In and Around Mondays,OYHT, Gratituesday,Titus2Tuesdays, Extraordinay, Lessons from Ivy,Denise in Bloom, Sweet Blessings, Faith Filled Friday, Finding Joy,WholeHearted Home, Mom’s the Word, Reclaiming a Redeemed Life, Still Saturday. Wildcrafting Wednesdays, WFMW