It was a very confusing season in my work life. Dreaming about being an entrepreneur, working extremely hard at it, and seeing so little results.
Seeing the vision but not the path.
My brain was tired, my body exhausted, and my excitement was dwindling down daily. The whole “thing” just felt way over my head, and just too hard to press through. Maybe this kind of success was for other people, the kind that is smarter than me, more up on technology, younger. Maybe I was just a bit too dumb, a bit too behind the times, a bit too old. And even though I knew in my gut that this is what I wanted in the next season of my life, the doubts and obstacles were simply overwhelming; maybe it was time to turn in my chips and call it quits.
Settling sounded delightful. Settling for an everyday life without all the excitement and exhaustion of owning your business. Just plain and simple living. Nothing wrong with plain and simple. Maybe it was time…
The thought of settling brings relief in a way. No more struggle, no more pushing. But the thought of settling, it also brings a sense of loss. All the maybes and possible adventures wiped away with a simple choice. No more daring. No more pushing. No more exhilarating discoveries…
Sick to the core at the thought of pushing forward, and sick to the core at the thought of settling.
I lay my head on the pillow that night, whispering a prayer to the God who knows how to communicate with me.
The next day, I knew to just lay it aside. I chose to go shopping, spend time with my friends, laugh. I came home refreshed. And so ready to take a big bite out of my beautiful future.
Settle? Who is talking about settling?
Oh, and my calendar now? It holds a few hours for self-care. Every single week.
Sometimes, I link up with any or all of these wonderful writers: Hearts 4 Home,SDG, Hearts Reflected, WLW, EOA, Things I can’t say, Growing Home,Play Dates with God, Monday Musings, Hear it on Sunday,Inspire Me Monday, Tell me a Story, The Better Mom, a Mama’s Story, Into the Word, In and Around Mondays,OYHT, gratituesday,Titus2Tuesdays,Extraordinay,Lessons from Ivy,Denise in Bloom, Sweet Blessings, Faith Filled Friday,Finding Joy,WholeHearted Home, Mom’s the Word, Reclaiming a Redeemed Life, Still Saturday. Wildcrafting Wednesdays, WFMW, Tell His Story