Exploding Heart

“Yes,” she says, tears in her eyes. “Yes, it’s true!”

There is finally a life to love and be amazed by growing in her womb after so many years of bareness–a true mourning turned into dancing. We hug, we dance, we giggle and celebrate the new beginning; and my heart, it explodes with more joy that it can hold.

She leaves, a skip in her step, after telling me her secret.

I close the door with a smile all the way down to my toes and I settle at my computer to check my email. I see a longish email from someone so dear to my heart her imprint is on my soul. She is is the depth of despair, this soul-sister of mine, beaten by life, and she has given up the fight. She now faces the end she did not want. Her words bring me to tears; and my heart, it explodes with her raw wound that it cannot bear.


Torn apart by pulling joy and despair, my heart pounds  loudly.


Be still, my heart, be still.

I close my eyes and try to inhale deeply. But my breathing is shallow and my lungs, they are so very tight, and they don’t seem to remember how to let the air in.

I feel pain in my head as blood pulses fiercely.

And then, as a flash of lighting, understanding enters my soul–blood is key.

His blood spells Bold-Loving-Omnipotent-Overpowering-Death Life.

His blood for the good and the ugly, for the pretty and the plain, for the joy and the pain, for the beginning and the end.

Because every where His blood rushes, life enters. Whether it’s a beginning or an end, or any middle at all.

His blood speaks. And His blood will speak over the new life that turned morning into dancing, and His blood will speak over the unbearable end that tastes like a sword.

My breath returns to me.

Be still, my heart, be still. God is still on the throne.


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Sometimes, I link up with any of these: Monday Musings, Hear it on Sunday,Inspire Me Monday, Tell me a Story, The Better Mom, a Mama’s Story, Into the Word, In and Around Mondays,OYHT, gratituesday,Titus2Tuesdays,Extraordinay,Lessons from Ivy,Denise in Bloom, Sweet Blessings, Faith Filled Friday,Finding Joy,WholeHearted Home, Mom’s the Word, Reclaiming a Redeemed Life, Still Saturday, WFMW, Tell His Story, Testimony Tuesday, ThreeWords Wednesday





  1. Thanks for sharing Barbara! I’m so thankful that God is on the throne and that His blood has covered our sins! #62 at Testimony Tuesday today!


  2. Our lives on this earth are so often pulled in different directions. The good, then the bad, and we are pulled to our limits. Thanks for sharing such a real and raw story! I’m visiting from Testimony Tuesday, #64.


  3. How wonderful and hard life can be, all at the same time. I love the acronym you give for blood. So powerful and meaningful!

    Thanks for linking up at Living Proverbs 31


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